Tears of joy…no…pain.

Well – the lesson I learnt this morning is never, ever tell the truth.


Yesterday, I thought it would be a bright idea to try and give Sgt. Burpee the shit sandwich of good-bad-good with “I danced last night but my eating has been bad but I bought a treadmill so it’s all ok”.

How you think that went down?

Why was I so stupid?! This is the man who yells at me for drinking an OJ!

Needless to say, my workout was torture this morning.

Let me paint a picture:

So here was my workout this morning

120kgs x 12 leg press -> 10 x burpees -> 1 min wall squat with 10kg weight sitting on my lap.

140kgs x 10 leg press -> 10 x burpees -> 1 min wall squat with 10kg weight sitting on my lap.

160kgs x 8 leg press -> 10 x burpees -> 1 min wall squat with 20kg weight sitting on my lap (plus Sgts foot).

While I was busy dying, I was threatened with “If you’re not on this wall in the next 5 seconds, I’ll be adding an extra 10 burpees”.

You can bet I was on that was with a very long face.

But wait, there’s more!

On the rower for 500m keeping the speed under 2m20s and straight into a 1 minute plank with a foot on my back.

Then I was allowed to get a drink of water.

When I wondered back, thinking it might be time for some upper body..No! Sgt was next to the stepper and said 200 steps at 150 resistance, no arms on the bars. Then 30 squat jumps and another plank and you’re done.

This is the point when I started to cry – I asked for another 1 minute rest break and was denied.

Fortunately, it must have made Sgt uncomfortable enough to take some pity on me.

He said “You start now, 20 squat jumps and I’ll drop the plank”.

I sniffed and blinked my way through the 20.

How embarrassing.

I then got lectured on wanting to lose weight and then sabotaging myself. It was going to be much harder without a trainer so why would I do it now when I have support?

He was right.

Well, only because he found out what I ate (and I suspect that 700g I put on wasn’t pure muscle).

Moral of the story kiddies? a) do what your trainer tells you or b) make sure he never finds out what you did wrong.

It’s karma, right? Serves me right for cheating all these weeks.

Thank god I’ve only got 1 week left!!!

I’m gonna go eat a box of neurofen now…




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