Domesticated much?

I’ve really lived up to my blog name today.

My poor, poor muscles cushioned by fat are trembling. This is what happens when I decide to ‘call in sick’ for the training session on Friday. I know, judge me.

I’m also told by Sgt. Burpee that today is my 9 week anniversary and it’s time to weigh in and take my measurements.

Did you see my jaw drop and eyes bulge out of their sockets?

I think in order to explain the horrified look on my face, I need to explain what I got up to on the weekend…

So after the nacho fiasco with my girlfriend on thursday  night and bad, bad lunch on Friday I actually didn’t do too badly for dinner. Sweet & Sour Beef Stirfry.

Saturday morning I thought I would celebrate my good dinner with a chicken burger for breakfast (with fries on the side, of course) from the ever delicious, Post Cafe.

Suddenly I wasn’t feeling so good – even my poor stomach struggled eating so much food that early in the morning.

I needed a nap, that would fix everything!

When I woke, Snr. B wanted lunch – I was still full.

I decided that we should venture to the shops and I wanted to try my hand at making Turkish Pide.

Not that I ever cook but I had a hankering for it and I suspected Sr. B wouldn’t be keen on hitting up the local Turkish again so soon.

I was looking very um, 50’s housewife in my velcro curlers and nightie dress kneading dough in the kitchen. Sr. B thought it was hilarous and took photos while I glared at him.

While waiting for the dough to rise, we got peckish. So I brought out some stinky cheeses, olives, pate and grapes for us to snack on along with various kinds of chips. I accompanied this ‘light snack’ with gin and ruby red grapefruit juice…and a couple of ciders… (highly recommend the winter cider from Rekorderlig)

After demolishing that and feeling slightly tipsy – I sorted out those bad boy pides. I stuffed them with cajun chicken, mushrooms, basil pesto fetta, spinach and lots of cheese. Then off they went to think about what they’d done in the oven.

Oh the smell!!! *insert drooling here*

We managed to contain ourselves to sharing 1 of the 2 enourmous pides as I was keen to eat the rest when I got home from our outing save the other one for tomorrow.

We headed out to a friends for a few drinks. No pide was had on our return home – it was lights out!

Sunday morning. I wake up and squint around the sunshine coming in.

My phone had died so I reached over to Sr. B’s to check the time as I knew he had to go to a photography workshop in town at 9am (which I’d graciously bought him for his birthday).


I think Sr. B got out of the house as fast as possible due to the amount of steam coming from my ears.

Long story short, he made it on time as they started late. I consoled myself with a caramel slice and polished off the remaining pide (sharing the bum of it with the rat) and watched reruns of Seinfeld.

This wasn’t enough so for lunch we went to our favourite local Vietnamese place for ricepaper rolls, spring rolls and some awesome tempura squid (delicious but not the same without chilli). While we were in the area, we spotted a young girl walking down the street with a slurpee. Neither of us had drank one of those in at least 10 years! Sr. B said apparently 7-11 was doing a promo with all these cool flavours.

Needless to say we were walking down the street, 5 minutes later, happier than pigs in shit with icey sugarfests.

You think that’s it? Not even close!

My Sunday night cravings got the better of me and I made the decision that pasta and garlic bread was on the menu. Not just any pasta, tortellini boscaiola and beef lasagna (the 2 healthiest choices, of course) without chilli. 😦

I inhaled it.


So, cutting back to having my final measurements and weight taken today? I don’t think so!

When I was quizzed by Sgt. Burpee about what I’d been up to and how good my eating had been. I lied though my teeth saying there was a  lot of Vietnamese (partially true) soup but I’d had it without the noodles, just broth as I didn’t have much appetite. I’d spent most of the weekend in bed (also partially true) and didn’t have any alcohol (well…).

I made my bed and now I can be fat in it.





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