The nerves!

So I just submitted my first assignment online for my Cert IV – Community Services Work.

I’d already emailed the teachers to ask about length of answer, hours of research, presentation preference – with very unhelpful answers (though replied within 24 hours). I did quite well last time I was at uni but for some reason I’m having flashbacks of my first university assignment when I was barely 18 and getting a big fat FAIL on there.

I’d never failed anything in my life! Sure, sometimes I’m a little lax about studying but to not even pass something? Unheard of! I couldn’t even comprehend what I’d done so badly as to deserve it. Needless to say, the lure of a full time working salary and the battering of my ego caused me to drop out, right after the cut off date for being charged, and scored myself a $5,000 bill that’s still 10 years later in the process of being paid off. Way to kick me when I’m down, tertiary studies~!

Studying by distance education is great, I can read my notes online, spend my procrastination time actually doing something useful and get a qualification out of it.

The downside is, I’m a talker. I discuss everything. Sr. B can vouch for that, I’m surprised his ears haven’t fallen off already!

Having to download, analyse, prepare and submit assignments without having other students to discuss it with makes me nervous. We all know one time we’ve taken one interpretation of something we’ve read and felt devastated when we realise we were the only ones who thought that way (Dress codes for parties spring to mind).

So now I’m waiting with bated breath on the result of this assignment – it seemed really straight forward but I second guess myself. It couldn’t just be a straight forward Q&A? It must have some fine print on a sheet I didn’t receive that it needed to be translated to Swahili and on pink paper. I’m suspicious.

Where’s my big F?? Just get it over and done with, give me the feedback then I can move on. I’ll repeat the subject. I’ll pull an all nighter to get it to standard. At least I’ll have some clarification on what to work with!

Now, this all may have something to do with being critiqued today at work about my writing style, errors in a report I’d compiled and how much she had to rephrase my work. All in front of another co-worker.

But before all that, I was asked “You rushed this report didn’t you?”

What was I supposed to say?

It was humiliating, but she was right.

Then after the verbal thrashing, she said I’d done a good job. What the…?


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. whatimeant2say
    Nov 19, 2011 @ 10:29:56

    I hope the compliment was in front of the co-worker too!


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